Lovebirds 2014; Couple Four: Melissa & Cecil

Lovebirds 2014; Couple Four: Melissa & Cecil

Here is the story of the fourth of 5 Lovebirds that I set out to interview as part of my life coaching business, working with couples. I figured the best way to get people involved was to get them involved! And I did that by asking if I can interview them. I am passionate about romance. Read more to find out what they had to say! Happy Valentines Day!

Couple Four: Melissa & Cecil

Met: In 2003 at Sundance, were friends for years prior to a relationship.

They became best friends while getting to know each other through Sundance and Ceremonies. They never considered a potential ‘couples’ relationship as they were both attached and they attended the same ceremonies. It was a scary time, but love conquers everything – even outside interference. They work hard at their relationship. They are great friends and great strength to each other.

The first Meeting:

Melissa: We both found ourselves available for a relationship around the same time. We would use BBM on our BlackBerries and most of it was support to each other. And then we would go out to do small things like going to Walmart, and it just became so much fun. Doing regular everyday things became a lot of fun.

First assumptions:

Cecil: I always thought that she was very quiet. As I got to know her socially, I learned how much she loved humor. And I really love to hear her laugh. She has an infectious laugh.

Melissa: I was intimidated by him. He was so confident and articulate, and he has such a strong presence. It’s still true for him today. He is very intelligent and down to earth. And a great sense of humor.

What is admired of the other:

Melissa: I admire that he puts his heart in everything that he does. He is always thinking about future plans and being inspired by what he wants to do in the community.

Cecil: Her compassion; how much she cares for people. She likes to make life better for all of the people that she works with, other midwife students. She thinks about how she can implement changes not just for her but for the rest of the midwives who will be going after her. And she doesn’t look at others like they are competition; she just asks ‘why wouldn’t we work together?’ And she’s always thinking about their families. When we were still only friends I remember coaching her at ceremonies about getting into midwifery. She was so passionate about it. I knew she had to do it.

Important foundations of a healthy relationship:

Cecil: Faith, spirituality, strength, commonality. Sweats and ceremony are a healthy release.

Melissa: Trust, communication – a safe place to express ourselves. We look out for each other. We know when the other one needs ceremony or strength.

Cecil: Melissa is very intuitive.

Melissa: And we have a little dog too.

Cecil: Yeah, we have a little dog too. We are very open with our ceremony family and that is a real benefit to our
relationship. Learning the way each other deals with stress; its constant work and balance.

On the importance of dating:

Melissa: We enjoy dating and making time together – to go to a movie or something.

Cecil: The times that we travel together are the best. I used to travel alone on my motorcycle and now we drive together and we can discuss what happened on the way back. It’s very healing, just the sharing what we learned on the way home. Taking a regular experience for me, has made it so much more to do it together.

Melissa: Going away together is always so much fun, I love times when we get to go away, like to Minneapolis.

Advice you would give to others:

Melissa: I would say trust the process of the relationship; have faith that everything happens for reason. I would ask myself “is this too good to be true?”

What is fun:

Cecil: A healthy sexual relationship. Not enough people will talk about that, but the way that we connect emotionally and mentally is great. Our community can’t really talk about having healthy sexual relationships. We were brought up in a time where it was a dirty thing because of our history and residential school etc., but adult time is very important. It’s important to take time to be with each other and be together. Favorite memories are also just lying in bed laughing.

Melissa: We like to challenge each other and make each other laugh, I think that we really inspire each other with our passion and excitement in what each of us wants to do. We are always promoting positive things.

Cecil: We connect on all of those levels, our interests and our lifestyle. It’s amazing to be in love with my best friend.

Three words to describe the other:

Melissa: Strong, sensitive, loving.

Cecil: Strong, passionate, loving

Advice to self on the first date and to others:

Melissa: Be gentle with each other.

Cecil: Support each other’s dreams

Future plan:

Melissa: New adventures, changing careers. He will be retiring in a couple of years and I will be a midwifery graduate. It’s exciting to think about all of the possibilities. We like to be spontaneous and enjoy each other every day of the year.

On Valentines:

Cecil: We will probably do something to acknowledge it, but I like to do small things all the time, not just for one day.

Melissa: I like the fact that everyone is thinking about love on the same day every year.

Author: Jessica Dumas

Follow me on Twitter @ Facilitator, Indigenous Advisor

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