Lovebirds 2014; Couple one: Crystel and Ian

Lovebirds 2014; Couple one: Crystel and Ian

Here are the stories of 5 Lovebirds that I set out to interview as part of my life coaching business, working with couples. I figured the best way to get people involved was to get them involved! And I did that by asking if I can interview them. I am passionate about romance. Read more to find out what they had to say! Happy Valentines Day!

Met: Initially May 2000, officially 2001

When these this couple walked into the Forks market to meet me, it looked like she was bouncing as she hung on to his arm. He is tall, handsome, a complete gentlemen. She smiles and asks for some hot chocolate. Off he goes. These two whisper to each other in public places and nothing gets in the way of their loving stares at each other, checking each other out.

The first Meeting:

Ian: I was visiting my brother (who was dating Crystel’s friend) in Winnipeg, from BC. The first time I saw Crystel we sat at the kitchen table. She was eating poutine. She didn’t say a word. I thought she was cute, but I was thinking “I probably shouldn’t hit on her”, even though I wanted to. The next time I was visiting, my brother had to go to the hospital.
Crystel was there when it happened and she left me a really long note. I appreciated that she was thinking of me and left the note but in the whole letter, she never said what happened. All I knew was that there was blood everywhere.
There is a lot of laughing happening, especially because we know that his brother turned our fine.

Crystel: I really liked him too. I thought he was quiet and mysterious. And he was sexy. But I wasn’t going to say anything.

Assumptions of one another:

Ian: I made an assumption that she knew me. She knew my brother pretty well and so I assumed that she knew all about me.

Crystel: I admired that he was and is athletic, he’s very patient and that he seeks spirituality.

Ian: I admire that Crystel is compassionate, stubborn, (He likes a challenge), and spiritual.
Most important foundations to a healthy relationship:

Both: We value our spiritual connection, and communication, honesty with each other. They look at each other and nod.

Ian: and knowing when to say ‘Yes dear’. They laugh.

Crystel: That took him a long time to learn that!

Ian: We smudge and pray together and with our children.

Crystel: We drum and sing as a family and do a check in with each other when we smudge. We say how we are feeling and it brings us close as a family to share that. We go to the Sweat Lodge, Sundance, and enjoy spiritual therapy. And we inspired each other to stop having alcohol in our lives. For me to have Ian In this journey helped me to be stronger.
We also do an activity called Temperature Reading. This was Ian’s idea. It makes us set aside a time to tell each other what we appreciate about each other, look at our calendar, discuss weekly plans, future plans and goals and clarify any misunderstandings that might have happened over the week. It’s very useful.
The importance of continuing to date:

Ian: Huge! It’s very important. It’s fun and we enjoy it. It’s part of our routine.

Crystel: Sometimes we are home a lot and I’m content. Sometimes it’s spontaneous, Ian will just ask me “Want to go out tonight?” and other times we just make plans to go out.

Most memorable date:

They look at each other in agreement: This last one, on December 31st, 2013. We went out dancing and laughing, we had a great time.

Ian: They are all good.

Most memorable gift:

Crystel: When Ian and I were long-distance dating,(Him Vancouver, Her Winnipeg,) I received a package in the mail. It was a braid of sweetgrass with a carved handle made of driftwood. He carved it. It looked like an eagle. Another gift he sent me one time was a VHS. He had a movie he wanted me to see and we couldn’t watch it together, so he mailed it to me. It was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I watched it with my parents.

Ian: My most memorable gift, I would have to say my children.
If I could give myself advice when we started dating:

Ian: practice the words “Yes Dear.” We laugh

Crystel: Set boundaries.


Ian: I love that Crystel is an activist type of person, and I am not.
Three words to describe each other:

Ian: She is beautiful, spiritual. And ditsy.
Crystel: Ian is dedicated, he’s loving and patient.

Funny first date-ish story:

Ian: I liked to take Crystel out to new restaurants, of different ethnicities. When I would drop her off at home, her granny used to say “Where did he take you this time?” It was so cute.

Crystel: I was visiting Ian in Vancouver and he wanted to take me out on Valentine’s but he didn’t make any reservations. We went out to a restaurant on Commercial drive and Ian got yelled at by the maitre’d. It was so funny. He told Ian, “Don’t you know this is the busiest night of the year!”

Ian: Last year in Vancouver something pretty funny happened, at English Bay. We were relaxing on the beach and there was this man running around in the sand giving away clothes to people. And he came walking by us and I could see him going towards Crystel. He was handing her some clothes, I could see from the corner of my eye and I was thinking, “Oh no, she’s going to take it!” She asked him, “What size is it?” and he said, “Size slutty!” It was his girlfriend’s and they got into a fight so he was giving her things away. It was very funny!

Secrets to a happy marriage:

Ian: We don’t have the answers. We use tools, we see a spiritual therapist together…that helps and we celebrate our relationship. The exercise of going to see our spiritual therapist makes it special. It’s worth going to see her. It’s reminders that our marriage is special.

Crystel: Going to see her was Ian’s idea. I don’t know why he doesn’t just listen to me. She says laughing

Ian: It nice to have someone celebrate your marriage.

Future Plans:

Ian: More travelling.

Crystel: Agrees. Lots of travelling.

Author: Jessica Dumas

Follow me on Twitter @ Facilitator, Indigenous Advisor

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