Blog

Lovebirds 2014; Couple one: Crystel and Ian

Lovebirds 2014; Couple one: Crystel and Ian

Here are the stories of 5 Lovebirds that I set out to interview as part of my life coaching business, working with couples. I figured the best way to get people involved was to get them involved! And I did that by asking if I can interview them. I am passionate about romance. Read more to find out what they had to say! Happy Valentines Day!

Met: Initially May 2000, officially 2001

When these this couple walked into the Forks market to meet me, it looked like she was bouncing as she hung on to his arm. He is tall, handsome, a complete gentlemen. She smiles and asks for some hot chocolate. Off he goes. These two whisper to each other in public places and nothing gets in the way of their loving stares at each other, checking each other out.

The first Meeting:

Ian: I was visiting my brother (who was dating Crystel’s friend) in Winnipeg, from BC. The first time I saw Crystel we sat at the kitchen table. She was eating poutine. She didn’t say a word. I thought she was cute, but I was thinking “I probably shouldn’t hit on her”, even though I wanted to. The next time I was visiting, my brother had to go to the hospital.
Crystel was there when it happened and she left me a really long note. I appreciated that she was thinking of me and left the note but in the whole letter, she never said what happened. All I knew was that there was blood everywhere.
There is a lot of laughing happening, especially because we know that his brother turned our fine.

Crystel: I really liked him too. I thought he was quiet and mysterious. And he was sexy. But I wasn’t going to say anything.

Assumptions of one another:

Ian: I made an assumption that she knew me. She knew my brother pretty well and so I assumed that she knew all about me.

Crystel: I admired that he was and is athletic, he’s very patient and that he seeks spirituality.

Ian: I admire that Crystel is compassionate, stubborn, (He likes a challenge), and spiritual.
Most important foundations to a healthy relationship:

Both: We value our spiritual connection, and communication, honesty with each other. They look at each other and nod.

Ian: and knowing when to say ‘Yes dear’. They laugh.

Crystel: That took him a long time to learn that!

Ian: We smudge and pray together and with our children.

Crystel: We drum and sing as a family and do a check in with each other when we smudge. We say how we are feeling and it brings us close as a family to share that. We go to the Sweat Lodge, Sundance, and enjoy spiritual therapy. And we inspired each other to stop having alcohol in our lives. For me to have Ian In this journey helped me to be stronger.
We also do an activity called Temperature Reading. This was Ian’s idea. It makes us set aside a time to tell each other what we appreciate about each other, look at our calendar, discuss weekly plans, future plans and goals and clarify any misunderstandings that might have happened over the week. It’s very useful.
The importance of continuing to date:

Ian: Huge! It’s very important. It’s fun and we enjoy it. It’s part of our routine.

Crystel: Sometimes we are home a lot and I’m content. Sometimes it’s spontaneous, Ian will just ask me “Want to go out tonight?” and other times we just make plans to go out.

Most memorable date:

They look at each other in agreement: This last one, on December 31st, 2013. We went out dancing and laughing, we had a great time.

Ian: They are all good.

Most memorable gift:

Crystel: When Ian and I were long-distance dating,(Him Vancouver, Her Winnipeg,) I received a package in the mail. It was a braid of sweetgrass with a carved handle made of driftwood. He carved it. It looked like an eagle. Another gift he sent me one time was a VHS. He had a movie he wanted me to see and we couldn’t watch it together, so he mailed it to me. It was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I watched it with my parents.

Ian: My most memorable gift, I would have to say my children.
If I could give myself advice when we started dating:

Ian: practice the words “Yes Dear.” We laugh

Crystel: Set boundaries.

Inspiration:

Ian: I love that Crystel is an activist type of person, and I am not.
Three words to describe each other:

Ian: She is beautiful, spiritual. And ditsy.
Crystel: Ian is dedicated, he’s loving and patient.

Funny first date-ish story:

Ian: I liked to take Crystel out to new restaurants, of different ethnicities. When I would drop her off at home, her granny used to say “Where did he take you this time?” It was so cute.

Crystel: I was visiting Ian in Vancouver and he wanted to take me out on Valentine’s but he didn’t make any reservations. We went out to a restaurant on Commercial drive and Ian got yelled at by the maitre’d. It was so funny. He told Ian, “Don’t you know this is the busiest night of the year!”

Ian: Last year in Vancouver something pretty funny happened, at English Bay. We were relaxing on the beach and there was this man running around in the sand giving away clothes to people. And he came walking by us and I could see him going towards Crystel. He was handing her some clothes, I could see from the corner of my eye and I was thinking, “Oh no, she’s going to take it!” She asked him, “What size is it?” and he said, “Size slutty!” It was his girlfriend’s and they got into a fight so he was giving her things away. It was very funny!

Secrets to a happy marriage:

Ian: We don’t have the answers. We use tools, we see a spiritual therapist together…that helps and we celebrate our relationship. The exercise of going to see our spiritual therapist makes it special. It’s worth going to see her. It’s reminders that our marriage is special.

Crystel: Going to see her was Ian’s idea. I don’t know why he doesn’t just listen to me. She says laughing

Ian: It nice to have someone celebrate your marriage.

Future Plans:

Ian: More travelling.

Crystel: Agrees. Lots of travelling.

Lovebirds 2014

Lovebirds 2014

“You are such a romantic” someone once said to me. I got a little embarrassed…but I am so passionate about romance. I think this passion came forward for me when I wrote two separate Maid of Honor speeches a few years ago.

But maybe what I think romance is, and what others think it is, is different. Is romance something that people read about in books? Is romance a tale with fantasy and made up heroes and exaggerated daydreams?

I am a romantic. I believe in love, romantic spirit, courtship and men being gentlemen. John Gray describes your soul mate as being someone who shares all of physical chemistry, emotional chemistry, mental chemistry and spiritual chemistry.

I set out to find some real, true love stories within my networks, to highlight and celebrate examples of couples who I believe are “doing it right” because based on the foundations of a healthy relationship they desire and plan (and work) to keep love alive in their lives. They love each other (and like each other), they are honest, respectable, hardworking people… and I admire what they have. I am however, quite in love as well.

I set out to find the love stories because as a Life Coach, I aim to work with couples. Work with them in the capacity of goal planning and strengthening connections on new levels. I thought the best way to get them involved was to get them involved. I am so thankful that they welcomed this opportunity to celebrate their story. The fact that it fell around Valentine’s Day was not complete coincidence. I thought it was a good time to poke that elephant in the room and get people talking about romance. This project was very welcomed and I’m happy to say that I have more couples to interview which I see as a great year round project.

I know that Love is real and being “in-love” is attainable. A good place to start is that it comes from being content in all areas of your life and includes some self-love, accepting that you deserve to be in love and have the love you want.

Relationships should not be like tabloid relationships; meet someone, date for a week, have sex and maybe learn his middle name. That does not equal the commitment mark and is not a foundation for a long term successful relationship, if you haven’t already noticed.

Women should be courted; we love it, first of all. And this should never stop. If it has stopped, start doing it again and don’t give up. And women need to accept and acknowledge this courtship, receiving of courtship does not mean you jeopardize being a strong independent woman, but allowing him to do the little things (and asking for him to do it is ok too) and really thanking him for doing them, excluding all complaints, will go a real distance.

Important components in a good healthy relationship:
• acceptance, of yourself and each other
• communication, with honesty, understanding plus interesting and enjoyable conversation
• cherishing – each other
• and laughter, lots of laughter.

I don’t claim to have all the answers, I don’t have ‘professional relationship training/expertise’, but I do know what I have learned while feeding my curiosity about loving relationships, reading, talking to people, reading some more and a little bit of experience.

Let me share the true love stories with you, of those who have shared with me, from a perspective of love for romance. I am quite sure you will enjoy the sweet stories of these lovebirds and I will share them with you tomorrow.

Jessica Dumas
Certified Life Coach

Seven years ago. I had to find myself.

Seven years ago. I had to find myself.

I was left a single parent when my husband of 5 years decided that he didn’t like this life anymore. My third son was born and I was on my own. I was tired. I was exhausted. I was pretty broken hearted but I knew that I had been through worse pain of losing my brother, and I reminded myself of that often. I had strength in my spirit, strength that I didn’t always call on because I thought it was above me. That spirit from God Creator and Universe, helped me through everything I have always needed and I’ve relied on it ever since.
I had to get involved in the community. I had to get out and date. I had to find myself and learn how to express myself in a way that made me feel good about being me. And most times I feel great. I always turn back to my spirit. Without it I would not be whole.

Dreaming of Retweets?

Authentic Frontier Gibberish

Daily ReadDreaming of Retweets?

Forget about sugar plums dancing in your head.  Regardless of your business, we all dream of retweets, after all the value of your content is measured by the number of eyes that see your tweets and are ultimately driven to your organization. You could read all day and not cover all the ‘best practices’ for fine tuning your tweeting.  In comes a cool new tool! TrackMaven, a platform that provides analysis to digital marketers performs analysis on twitter accounts (with 1,000 followers or more) and through these massive trawls through tweets has developed three suggestions you should try:

Timing.  Retweets are highest on the weekend, however during the work week, lunch time saw the most retweets (12:00-1:00 ET) and again 10:00-11:00pm.

Tweet Like a Teen.  Don’t be afraid of showing your emotion using tactics the average 14-year-old would be comfortable with.  Up to nine exclamation marks…

View original post 51 more words